Friday, March 6, 2009

Me and My Cell Phone alias Mobile Phone

“Could you please call me back a couple of hours later, I am in a meeting” I said to the caller on my cell phone while comfortably lying on my couch. I am feeling that that my habit of lying is growing gradually and in proportion of my increasing use of my cell phone.

“Hey Utpal, can you please take this call and tell them that I have left my cell phone at my office and have gone out for a meeting”, my colleague asked me as soon as his cell phone buzzed and he saw the number flashing. Probably he has by now understood my dexterity of lying or maybe he wants to keep himself out of the sin of lying. Be whatever, I did the same and I feel nothing much has happened other than one more sin being added in my account being maintained by Mr. Chitragupta in Hon’ble Mr. Yamraaj’s (Indian God of Death) office.

I was aware that my company has not made due payments to the vendors I have finalized and have released work order to. I praise and blush by my decision of choosing in for clip services. This helps me getting the numbers of incoming calls and I am at my own liberty of either picking up or not picking up of any calls. After all I too am a citizen of the same democratic country of which my company is a citizen. I thank our politician for framing such a good law and order system where any company can choose to pay or not to pay or to pay at their own discretion for the services bought from relatively weaker vendors.

Sometimes I feel that English is a funny language and at times I wonder who has created this language. Please forgive me for this statement as I am an ignorant persona. But it always reads Ladies and Gentlemen. And I wonder “hasn’t the gentlemen who has invented this language ever met any Gentlewomen, why it talks always about gentlemen” whereas I have always met gentle women starting from my mother to my ex and present girl friends including my estranged wife. I seriously hope that all my coming girl friends will also be gentle women if not gentle girls. So, I would try to use the word “Dear Readers” instead of getting into the complexities of gentleness.”Dear Readers, as you must be aware that this cell phone is also having a unique feature of SMS which for any normal person function at least five times a day, out of which four times with junk SMS”. One day while I was driving I got the ring tone of an SMS. It made me curious as I was expecting an SMS of the then girl friend of mine. So thought n jam packed traffic I used my cell phone and the SMS read “For massage services from trained and convent educate girls please contact ----------“. I am still wondering what beautiful convent educated girls have to do with massage. Anyway, there was another instance while I was sitting in the board meeting and the Chairman of my the then company was lecturing on motivation, without talking of the overdue salary hike, while the same beep made me pick up the phone again which read “ Loan in two minutes, contact ----------“. Dear Readers, I seriously hate my cell phone from the core of my heart when an SMS reminds me with the last date of payment of the EMIs.” “ Mind you dear readers, all this when I am a religious subscriber of please do not disturb services of my Service provider as ordered by the Government of India”.

“Hello, Pushpa here” my colleague attended her cell phone “yes, ok, wait a minute” she stood up and started strolling inside the hall “yes, but you do not understand” ….. “Ok, let me explain……” she kept on talking wide audible to for 45 minutes and I thought by his time she has walked at least a Mile. I thought it is good for her health as she was near 70 kilos, but I got the shock of my lifetime when I saw my another colleague Ramesh doing the same while being a representative of some famine, having only 45 kilos. I remember those olden and golden days when our parents used to apply for landlines and there used to have been a queue for allotment of the number. I remember when the telephone line did come to my house for the first time we ate “Laddu” an Indian sweet delicacy. I was happy with that system where I used to talk standing while attending the calls. I wonder if “history will repeat itself” or not. Be whatever, that was a big day for me as I got the knowledge of why Cell phones are rechristened Mobile Phones.

I was travelling in a DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) bus on a fateful day. I was almost asleep as that was a lucky day for me to get a seat in the bus. I was about to sleep when I heard somebody singing a favorite and all time hit Hindi number “chookar mere man ko, kiya toonain kya ishaaraa” (I do not know what have you indicated after touching my heart). I was being about to be envious of the person who can sing this well and that also in DTC Bus that another person started singing another Hindi number “chalti kya nau se baarah” (are you coming at nine to twelve movie show) and suddenly there were some strange sound “taaak taak treeee taaak taaakkkk “, and suddenly I was wide awake to jump out of the bus as I have felt as if there is some terrorist attack on the bus with AK 47. I was about to do the same when I asked myself “Hey Man ! people were singing that is fine but from where there was music coming” and while I was thinking again somebody started singing with music but this time it was an English number “Last night I dreamt of Sam Padero” with music and the passenger sitting next to me took out his cell phone “Hello………”. The mystery of the singers got revealed and I realized that these sounds were from the cell phones of the co – passengers who have set all these bizarre sounds as ring tones. I thought “How nice a gentleman was Mr. Graham Bell”.

Mobile phone ! Mine rings when I am in wash room, while I am driving, while I am sleeping alone or with my wife. I do not know whether this happens with others or not but this is happening with me every now and then. Now in my everyday prayer I ask a boon from God; as everybody else ask, I thought asking to God is a ritual and so I am asking every day; “Oh Lord ! give one day when the entire Mobile Phone network collapse and there is neither any call nor any SMS on my cell phone. Oh Lord! I want to live my life for one day, I have lost it years before. Bless Me Lord. Amen!”

Have a Nice Day ahead, and I seek your permission to be back in a short while with another article in the journey continued.
Good Luck …

Utpal Kant Mishra
Delhi; March 06, 2009.


autumn leaves said...

gud time pass..:)but my mood is too bad to sense humour in few lines..

Anonymous said...

ha ha !! i really enjoyed reading this :)

Utpal said...

Thanks Pretty :)

Payal ..... Good to know that it has passed some of your time :)